Tomika: It's been a while since that bell rang. Can we go yet?!
Mr. Finn: (shushing) Not yet. Signing up for Battle of the Bands is huge for us. We have to sneak out so we don't arouse suspicion. I'll go scoot the hall.
Mr. Finn cartwheels out or the door into the hall. The hall was empty. He cartwheeled back inside the classroom.
Zack: Did you see anyone?
Mr. Finn: I don't know. It all happened so fast. And I was upside down a lot.
Tomika: Wait, this is just to sign up for the audition? Why do we all have to go?
Mr. Finn: Because we're a band. We do things together. Plus, my van breaks down and I need you guys to push. Okay, let's move out. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
Mr. Finn and the students leave the school.
***
Mr. Finn: Okay, everybody, stay calm. I'm kinda a big deal in the Austin music scene, so don't be surprised if I get mobbed.
Woman: Excuse me, are you Dewey Finn?
Mr. Finn: You know it. See, guys?
Woman: Security!
A security guard tackles Mr. Finn, making him fall on the floor.
***
Opening Credits
***
Battle of the Bands.
Club Worker: Who let this guy in? Dewey Finn is banned from this club.
Mr. Finn: What? Why?
Club Worker: Because last time you played here, you started a burrito riot.
Mr. Finn: Hey, I don't have control over the audience.
Club Worker: You sang a song called "Let's Start a Burrito Riot"!
Zack: I don't know how much competition there would be. These guys all look serious.
Lawrence: Yeah.
A man plays a riff on an electric guitar.
Lawrence: Not bad.
Guitar Player: Not bad? What's a little kid like, you know?
Zack: You're right. Can I borrow that?
Zack borrows the man's electric guitar and plays a riff. The player steals his guitar from Zack.
Lawrence: You destroyed that guy.
Zack: My parents always told me if I plan to do something, I should be the best. I do it if I'm not going to win.
Lawrence: My parents raised me to be happy if I come in third.
A man walks up to Zack.
Justin: Hey, I heard you riffing. I'm Justin from Night Lizard.
Zack: Zack, School of Rock.
Justin: Is that your leader?
Mr. Finn: Please, Vince, please!
Freddy: Sir, if you let him sign up, he'll pay you back for the damage he caused.
Mr. Finn takes out cash from his pocket.
Mr. Finn: Yeah, sure, how much do I owe you?
Mr. Finn: I don't have that.
Mr. Finn takes out a credit card.
Mr. Finn: But, this card is only two punches away from a free frozen yogurt.
Justin: You wouldn't have those kind of problems if you joined Night Lizard. The reason we've won two Battle of the Bands is because we treat our band like a business. If you don't perform, you're out. That reminds me.
Justin looks directly at a man playing a guitar.
Justin: (angrily) You're out.
The man plays an angry riff and leaves.
Justin: You're totally Lizard material, Zack, So, what do you say? You wanna join our band?
Zack: Like I said, I'm in School of Rock. Thanks anyway.
Mr. Finn: It's...Let's...sit down and talk this out like mature adults.
Mr. Finn sits on a table and the table collapses.
Vince: And now, you owe me for the table!
Summer: Mr. Vince, I understand your frustration with Mr. Finn. He's irresponsible, he's selfish, he rarely showers.
Mr. Finn: Where are you going with this?
Summer: Trust me. But the band isn't just Mr. Finn. It's us kids. Do you want the press out here seeing how rough you treat orphans?
All but Summer: You're orphans?
Summer: As far as the TV reporters know, (crying along with the rest of the School of Rock members) and when they see us, they'll throw you out of your club, and we'll be crying our eyes out about that mean man. (normal) And you, it might not be good for your business.
Tomika takes out a phone.
Tomika: I have Local News 5 on speed-dial. Oops, it's ringing.
Vince: Okay, you win. I'll let you audition. Just hang up!
Tomika hangs up the phone.
Vince: Man. 12-year-old girls play hardball.
Tomika walks up close to Vince.
Tomika: You wouldn't last 5 seconds at one of our sleepovers.
***
Mr. Finn: All right, let's do this. One, two, th--
Summer puts tape on the floor..
Summer: I'm calculating the size of the stage at the club for the Battle of the Bands audition.
Freddy: Is that really necessary?.
Summer: No, but our audition song has no tambourine. Unless you want me to play tambourine.
All but Summer: No.
Mr. Finn: Alright, I called this emergency band meeting to figure out how to replace Zack. The answer is two words.
Tomika: Animatronic bear?
Mr. Finn: Yeah, how'd you guess?
Tomika: Because it's over there. And it's freaking me out!
Kodiak Joe: (singing) Kodiak Joe, Kodiak Joe. Hi-dee ho, I'm Kodiak Joe. (talking) Hi, folks. I'm Kodiak Joe. Welcome to Cheesy Chuck's Pizza Emporium.
Mr. Finn: I almost forgot. His activation word is "Kodiak Joe".
Kodiak Joe: (singing) Kodiak Joe, Kodiak Joe. Hi-dee ho, I'm Kodiak Joe. (talking) Did you know you could get an extra-large for just a dollar more?
Mr. Finn: (inaudible)
Freddy: How'd you get Kodi--
Tomika: No! How'd you get the bear?
Mr. Finn: He was in the dumpster at Cheesy Chuck's.
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