Disney's The Replacements - Double Trouble Transcript

***

Opening Credits

***

Title Card: "Double Trouble"

***

Setting: Park. Riley, Abbey, and Tasumi are cleaning up.

Riley: Oh, I forget. Why did we join Nature Tweens in the first place?

Abbey: Oh, I don't know. Could it have something to do with your ex-boyfriend Johnny Hitswell being the president of our chapter?

Riley: Oh, whatever. I'm so over him. Right.

Tasumi: Have you even had a date since you two broke up?

Riley: Actually, I had a dinner date just last night.

***

Flashback. 

Riley is eating at a restaurant alone. She giggles while feeding whipped cream on a spoon to a "fake" Johnny, sitting on a chair. The fake Johnny is made with a pillow painted to look like Johnny's shirt; the "head" is actually a blue balloon with a picture of Johnny's face taped on. As she points the spoon to the fake Johnny, the balloon head pops. Riley cries.

Flashback ends. 

***

Riley: Sort of. Kinda. (snatches a paper from Tasumi) Okay, not really, but it's purely a coincidence that Johnny and I are in the same club.

Abbey: Puh-leese! I bet you can't wait

Tasumi: Have you even had a date since you two broke up?

Disney's The Replacements - CindeRiley Transcript

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Opening Credits

***

Title Card: "CindeRiley"

***

Setting: George Stapler Middle School, hallway.

Tasumi: Ooh, the Fall Dance is coming! I hope it's not too late to get my body armor polished!

Riley: A dance? Neat! I've never been to one of those!

Abbey: No way! You have never been to a dance?

Riley: No. But I did do some research on the 'net. Which dances are in these days? The Running Man? (bounces, does running poses)

Abbey and Tasumi give Riley weird looks.

Riley: The Mashed Potato? (rolls over)

Two students give Riley weird looks.

Riley: The "Pokey-Pokey"? (points her fingers up and down)

Three other students give Riley weird looks. Shelton, a boy with glasses, pulls his hair in annoyance.

Shelton: Make it stop!!!

Shelton's glasses shatter.

Shelton: That's better.

Abbey: Okay, please stop whatever it is you're doing.

Tasumi: Riley, the Fall Dance is only the most important social event between the Halloween Hoedown and the Thanksgiving Young Dance.

Abbey: We're taking boys here, Riley.

Riley turns her head to Johnny, an attractive-looking boy with blonde hair.

***

Dream sequence. 

Inside a ballroom. As two men blow horns, Riley, who is wearing a tiara, is seen floating down a staircase leading her to a dance floor. Johnny, who is wearing a top hat walks up to her.

Johnny: Can I have this dance?

Riley: Of course, Johnny.

Riley and Johnny are dancing together. 

Pan up to sky, fireworks are shooting up. After the fireworks, two Cupids are flying over.

Johnny: You've made me like, the happiest dude in the world. (whistles)

A winged unicorn with rainbow hair flies out of the sky. Riley and Johnny hopped on.

Johnny: Giddy up, Rainbow Jumper!

They fly out.

Riley and Johnny fly on the unicorn, named Rainbow Jumper. A group of Cupids are stacked as if they were stairs. While in the air, Rainbow Jumper walks on top of the Cupids, as if they were stairs. The Cupids yelp in pain when one of them is walked on.

Dream sequence ends. 

***

Riley makes horse sounds. She then blows a raspberry. Abbey wakes Riley up by pulling on her cap.

Abbey: You like Johnny Hitswell?

Riley: Oh, I mean, kinda. Okay, I think he's a total hottie, but whenever he talks to me, I say something stupid.

Johnny walks up to Riley.

Johnny: Hey, Riley. Good game yesterday.

Riley: Hey, Johnny. Do you think bees sweat? They fly around so fast, I really think they get a little sweaty.

Abbey and Tasumi look at Riley in disappointment.

Johnny: Yeah, Riley. That's really interesting. (walks away)

Johnny passes by Sierra, a girl with ponytails. She stops him.

Sierra: Hey, Johnny. How 'bout us cool girls walk you to practice?

Johnny: Yeah, okay. See ya there, Riley.

Riley: Agh! I'm such a dork!

Abbey: No arguments here.

Tasumi: Good luck trying to dance with Johnny. Every girl in school likes him.

Abbey: Besides, he sees you as his buddy from the baseball team. And guys do not dance with their buddies.

Riley: So what should I do?

Tasumi: Well, if you want to impress him, you definitely need to do something with your hair. (points to Riley's hair)

Abbey: And your clothes. (points to Riley's shirt)

Tasumi: And your shoes. (points to Riley's shoes)

Abbey: And your... (points to Riley's hair)

Riley: Okay, okay. I get the point! I need a makeover.


***


Scene is in the Daring house, closet. Dick Daring, seen in pajamas is picking out an outfit from a closet of identical jumpsuits.

Dick Daring: Let's see, what should I wear today? (pushes jumpsuit) Hmm, feels like a jumpsuit kind of day.

Riley walks in.

Riley: Hey, Dad. Where's Mom?

Dick Daring: I think she said something about a secret spy mission to the secluded mountain compound of Dr. Skorpius to recover the Precobi Diamond. Either that, or she went to the mall. I forget. Anyway, what's up?

Riley: Well, the school dance is tomorrow and I really want to make a good impression.

Dick Daring: That shouldn't be a problem considering your mom and I already signed up to be chaperones.

Riley looks at Dick weirdly.

Dick Daring: And if there's ever a lull in the party, I'll just wow everybody with my new hobby, raccoon juggling! (grabs three raccoons) I'm already up to three raccoons!

Dick juggles the raccoons. The raccoons bite at Dick's fingers, then they eat at his face before they attacked him.

Dick Daring: (yells) Come on, guys! We rehearsed this!

Riley: Hey, Dad, let's make this the one formal event where you don't bring your raccoons. But, what would be really great, though, is if you could take me to get a makeover.

Dick Daring: Sure! And what perfect timing! Our family's monthly trip to Super Discount Budget Cutz is tomorrow! Good ol' Wally never lets us down.

Riley: Aw, Dad, not One-Cut Wally.

Dick Daring: That's not fair, you know he's got more than one cut. 

He turns his back to Riley. A raccoon eats at his bottom. 

Dick Daring: Remember last time?

***

Flashback. 

Inside Super Discount Budget Cutz. Wally, a man with a sideburn, points to a board with options marked 1, 2, 3, and 4. The options had similar hairstyles to Todd, Riley, Dick, and K. the Darings were waiting in front of Wally's desk.

Wally: All right, pick a number.

Todd: I'll take a 1.

Riley: 2.

K: 3.

Dick Daring: Uh, surprise me.

The Darings walk out of the salon. Dick is seen with long hair.

Dick Daring: Wow, that Wally is a miracle worker.

Flashback ends. 

***

Riley has a nervous look on her face. She runs to her room and takes out her FleemTel phone to call the Fleemco company.

***

Phone call sequence.

Conrad, a man with a large mustache calls on his phone from Fleemco Headquarters.

Conrad: Hello, Fleemco.

Riley: I need a new look. And Wally at Super Discount Budget Cutz isn't going to cut it.

Cut to outside of the Super Discount Budget Cutz salon. As soon as Wally gets to lock the doors, two men emerge from a military style helicopter.

Man (on left): Walter Burns, our nation's military needs a barber who can give identical haircuts to thousands of new recruits. (Bottom shows three men with wild hair. As a shaver swipes down, the men appear bald.) Are you up for the challenge?

Wally: Sir, yes sir!

The men snatch Wally. They take him up into the helicopter. The doors close. A skinny flamboyant man, Fabian La Toule comes out of the bottom hatch.

Fabian: (halting French accent) Bon chance, mon ami.

The helicopter flies away.

Phone call sequence ends. 

***

The Darings walk into Super Discount Budget Cutz. They stand by a lady with red hair sitting at the front desk.

Dick Daring: Hello, we're here for our 3:00 appointment with Wally.

Front Desk Lady: Sorry, Wally's gone. The new guy, Fabian La Toule is taking all his appointments.

Cut to the salon area. Fabian is finished giving a makeover to a woman with curly rolled up blonde hair.

Fabian: Voila.

Lady with Makeover: Amazing! And "Foofie" has never looked better. (shows a small brown dog with an identical hair style to the lady) Have you? have you? Oh, the pretty girl.

Disney's The Replacements - Tasumi Unmasked Transcript

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Opening Credits

***

Title Card: "Tasumi Unmasked"

***

Setting: Daring house. Zoom out to the video game "One-Man-Band Hero".
Video Game Animation: A Riley Daring avatar plays with two polar bear characters dancing along with the music. As the music distorts and the meter on the bottom of the screen goes down, the polar bears cover their ears.


Todd: (offscreen) Do a crash-cymbal-bass drum combo for triple points!

Riley: (offscreen) How do I do a crash-cymbal-bass drum combo?

Todd: A-B-Right-Trigger-Step-White Button-Select-Up-Right-Trigger, duh!

Riley: A, B... B... Hit-right thingy, step.... (groans)

Video Game Animation: As the meter went into the red zone, the bears still cover their ears and a bunch of music notes fall on top of the Riley avatar. The words "Game Over" appear on the screen.

SFX: crowd booing.

Zoom back out to the Daring living room.

Todd: Hand it over, Riley. "One-Man-Band Hero" is the greatest video game, and you, sadly, are disgracing this fine institution.

Todd snatches the harmonica, then the guitar, and the knee pads from Riley.

Riley: Fine! I'm gonna go play my fiddle. So give me a call when you you can play an instrument, (yells) IN THE REAL WORLD!

Todd: What's more real than virtual?

Riley: (turns her head to the TV) Whoa, look!

TV reads "Choose New Level". On the top row of the level selection, we see the two polar bears and a pirate. The bottom row has Grammazoar, a monster lizard dressed as an old lady, a character with the same armor as Riley's friend Tasumi, and a hippopotamus.

Zoom out to the Daring living room.

Riley: (pointing) That's Tasumi!

Todd: No, it's not! It's just one of the anime dancers on Level 26, "Tokyo Techno Showdown". Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna crack Level 37, and get my first fan club.

TV switches to the main game, where we see a Todd avatar.

Fade to George Stapler Middle School.

Abbey: And I said, if you can't tell the difference between a clove hitch and a rolling hitch knot, maybe I'll find myself a new boat buddy.

Tasumi closes her locker as Riley walks in.

Tasumi: What's wrong, Riley?

Riley: I'm sore from playing that stupid One-Man-Band Hero yesterday. Tasumi, it was so weird. There was this character on there that looked just like you! I tried to show Todd...

Tasumi: You're wrong! Or lying? Or both?

Riley: What? I just said I saw something strange on the video game.

Tasumi: That's it, Riley! (pulls up a scroll with a list of names) You're back on my list, just above Gamazoar, and just below, Grammazoar!

Riley: (puts the "list" down) But it did look just like you! I mean, the helmet, the armor! Come on, I can show you. (takes off Tasumi's glove)

Tasumi: Hey! (snatches the glove from Riley)

Abby gasps, then Riley does the same thing. Tasumi puts the glove back on. (SFX: squeaking.)

Tasumi: (to Riley) I mean, hey. Why don't we finish this conversation at Sam Sugar's Sugar-Torium? You know, we could just back and talk, just me and you. (she and Riley walk out.)

Abbey: Uh, hello!

Riley: Tasumi, you know candy and I don't have the best history.


***

Flashback. 

A police officer is yelling at Riley on a bullhorn.

Officer: Just put down the Jelly Drops and the Choco Tarts, and we can all go home!

Riley is on top of a building holding two lollipops.

Riley: NEVER!!! (licks one of the lollipops, and then both lollipops start swirling) Top of the world, ma! TOP OF THE WORLD!!!!

Flashback ends. 

***

Riley's eyes start swirling. Tasumi walks up to her.

Tasumi: Oh, Riley, relax. You act like I'm preying on your weakness for candy to distract you. (stares at Riley) Did I mention they're having a sale on Choco Tarts?

Riley: (giggles) I should be able to handle it.


***


Scene is in black. Riley moans offscreen. The black scene is revealed to be Riley's eye, as it starts opening.

Riley: What happened? 

Dick Daring: I found you lying on the front steps muttering about being the general of the Gumdrop Army.

Riley: Gotta remember. Jelly before hard candy, everything's dandy. Hard candy before jelly, ruins the belly. 

Riley's stomach gurgles.

Riley: Wait. Tasumi. I was talking to Tasumi. And-- Was Tasumi trying to give me the slip? What's she trying to pull?

Dick Daring: (gasps) I don't know!

Riley: Is Tasumi hiding something from me? And why? I thought we were friends.

Dick Daring: So did I! (runs away, sobbing)

Riley puts on a press hat.

Riley: I'm gonna need this. Cause it's time for Riley to do some investigating! And I know just where to start! (stomach gurgles) The bathroom. (runs away)

***

Riley is in front of a Japanese-style building.

Riley: Ah. Little Osaka-town.

Scene zooms out to reveal a small section of Japanese-style buildings in a modern city.

Riley: Emphasis on "little".

Riley walks into a store called "Hooray for Anime". She walks up to the clerk and shows him a photo of her and Tasumi.

Riley: Hi. Do you know anything about--

The clerk snatches the photo and gets excited.

Clerk: Oh, hey! (says title in Japanese)! Cool!

Riley: Who-nerd-says-what-now?

Clerk: It means "Strange Metal Girl". She was a huge anime character back in the 1990s! Where did your friend get this old school costume? I want it!

Riley gives the clerk a weird look.

Clerk: For my... niece. You know. (chuckles and hands the photo back to Riley)

Riley: Costume? This isn't a costume.

Clerk: Uh, yeah, it is. Check it out!

The clerk shows Riley a Japanese catalog with pictures of costumes that look similar to Tasumi's.

Clerk: I think we have some Strange Metal Girl stuff. Hang on!

Riley: A costume? What is going on? And what is she hiding from me?

The clerk comes back holding a DVD cover with Gamazoar destroying buildings and a list in the background.

Clerk: Oh, hey, look what I found. Very rare, Episode #37, "Gamazoar and the List of Doom"! "You've made my list, Gamazoar!"

Riley: Gamazoar! The list!

Clerk: Oh, check it out! 

The clerk brings out a TV set.

Clerk: Gamazoar fights... Grammazoar?

The TV powers on and shows a scene where Gamazoar fights Grammazoar. Grammazoar points her walker at Gamazoar and roars at him. Her roaring is subtitled as "You never call!" Grammazoar blasts her walker at Gamazoar.

The clerk laughs and snickers.

Riley: I have to have these.

Riley puts money on the counter and takes the two DVDs.

Fade to the Daring house living room.

Todd is playing a game of One-Man-Band Hero against his friend Jacobo.

Todd: Come on, Jacobo! Give me a challenge!

Jacobo: (through game) I'm trying, Todd!

Todd: Peace out, morning ago. 

Todd plays progressively faster.

Video Game Animation: The Todd avatar continues to play, while a bunch of music notes fall on top of the Jacobo avatar as his meter hits the red zone. The words "Game Over" appear on the screen.

Jacobo: Ay! (complains in Spanish)

Todd: (yawns) This is too easy. (takes off his earpiece) Maybe I'll go to the arcade and help with those Dance-Dance losers.

Fade to the street.

Todd walks and stops to look at a man performing a one-man-band show.

Todd: Aw, how quaint.

A man who is watching the show, throws change into the performer's hat.

Todd: How profitable. I need a piece of this action.

Fade to the exterior of a store called "House of Cords".

An extension cord stretched from the outside of the store to across the street, where Todd is hooking up his GameCone console and a TV.

Todd: Thank you, House of Cords.

Todd plugs in his console and starts playing.

As the one-man-band performer is getting ready to perform a show, he overhears Todd playing his game and notices that a couple who was going to see him perform get mesmerized by Todd's performance and try to see him perform.

Man: That music.

Woman: Mesmerizing.

As Todd finishes his performance, the couple throws some change into his hat. They walk away, only for the one-man-band to walk up to Todd.

One-Man-Band: What do you think you're doing?

Todd: I'm making money.

One-Man-Band: Yeah, by playing some stupid game! Where's the talent in that?

Todd: Find another shoulder to cry on, Grandpa. This is the future.

One-Man-Band: You think you're some kind of a one-man-band hero, huh? How about a challenge?

Todd: Bring it on!

One-Man-Band: And we'll be using Doyle's International Pro-Am One-Man-Band Rules, of course!

Todd: What the-- Whatever! I already said "bring it on".

One-Man-Band: Then it IS on, Don.

The one-man-band starts performing and a large crowd comes to watch him and cheers.

One-Man-Band: Your try, small fry!

Todd starts playing as a small crowd comes to watch him, only for his game to power down. The crowd boos.

Todd: Hey!

The one-man-band hangs the plug by his foot as he unplugs Todd's game.

One-Man-Band: Oh, lose your juice, Bruce. Well, under Doyle's International Pro-Am One-Man-Band Rules, winner takes all!

The one-man-band snatches Todd's guitar.

Todd: You can't do that!

One-Man-Band: You agreed to the rules, Jules!

Todd: I did not!

One-Man-Band: Too bad, Chad!

The one-man-band snatches the rest of Todd's One-Man-Band Hero equipment and rides away with it in his wheelbarrow.

Todd grumbles.

Todd: Vengeance will be mine! No one humiliates Todd Daring!

Buzz, the school bully, flips Todd's shirt inside out to the point where his shirt covers his eyes, and draws a face on his stomach. He walks away, whistling.

Todd: Okay, very few people humiliate Todd Daring.

***

George Stapler Middle School, classroom.

Abbey: It's a butler that lives on your boat! Don't you have one?

Riley pops out.

Riley: Fancy bumping into you guys! 

Abbey: It's English class. We have it together every day.

Riley: That is so interesting.

The Suite Life on Deck - Computer Date Transcript

Setting: S.S. Tipton. Juice Bar.


Zack: Cody. Just the person I wanted to see. I met this annoying girl in the teen lounge last night. She's a boring mousy little geek.

Cody: So?

Zack: So.... (hands a paper to Cody) ...I got her number for you.

Cody looks at the paper.

Cody: Why can't you understand that I'm just happy being alone? (yells) Can't you see how happy I am? 

Zack: (cleans his eye) Yes, I think you just spit some of your joy in my eye.

Zack and Cody's old friend Arwin calls them from their computer.

Arwin: Hey, guys.

Cody: Hey look, it's Arwin.

Zack: Arwin, hey, what's up? 

Arwin: Well, actually, me. I'm on Mr. Tipton's helicopter. I'm coming to visit you guys.

Cody: Awesome. When are you coming on board? 

Arwin: Now! 

Zack: What? We're in the middle of the ocean.

Arwin: Never fear. I'm using a new device I invented for Mr. Tipton. It can safely eject you anywhere-- You know, for tax evasion purposes. I'm basically in a giant rubber ball.

Cody: Arwin, that sounds kind of risky.

Arwin: Oh, it's time to go. Okay, here we go. Five, four, three, two, one! (makes a squinting face)

Cut to computer screen. Arwin hits the screen as the red ball that he was in bounced around. 

The guests onboard scream in fear.

Cut to ball bouncing off the ship's deck into the ocean.

Cut back to computer screen. SFX: [a loud splash]

Cut back to juice bar.

Cody: Arwin, are you okay? 

Arwin: Sure. This thing's totally waterproof. 

SFX: [loud "pop"]  Water splashes into Arwin's face.

Arwin: Mommy!.

***

Opening Credits

***

Main lobby. Zack and Cody are helping untie Arwin from seaweed.

Mr. Moseby: Arwin. Always happy to see you. But here's a thought-- maybe next time you should just walk up the old gangplank.

Arwin: Are you kidding? Those things are death traps.

Mr. Moseby: Oh.

Zack: Arwin, so great to see you.

Arwin: Hey, guys. (hugs Zack and Cody) Your mom shows me pictures of you all the time, But you can't hug a picture. Well, you can, but the paper cuts are nasty.

London excitedly comes up to Arwin.

London: Oh, Arwin! 

Arwin: London! 

London: Yay! (hugs Arwin, but backs away in disgust)  Eww! 

Arwin: Sorry.

London: You're here to rescue me from the stupid sea school! So long, suckers. Let's go, let's go. (pushes Arwin, but he wouldn't budge)

Arwin: Actually, I'm not here to rescue you.

London: Rats.

Zack: So, Arwin, what brings you here besides, you know, a giant bouncy ball? 

Arwin: Well, Mr. Tipton has given me a very important job.

Arwin takes out a towel, and puts it around his shoulder. While doing it, he hits Mr. Moseby in the eye.

Mr. Moseby: Agh! 

Arwin: I have created a super computer that's going to automate the entire ship. So now the "S.S." in "S.S. Tipton" is going to stand for "Smart Ship." 

Zack: Wow.

Cody: Awesome.

Mr. Moseby: Uh-oh.

Arwin: I'm gonna name it "Cal".

Cody: That must stand for "Computer-Automated Logistics".

Arwin: Nah, I just like the name. Oh! Now if you'll excuse me, I have a fiddler crab in my underpants. And he's fiddlin'.

Arwin walks away, shuffling.

***

Setting: S.S. Tipton. Juice Bar.

London and Woody walk up to Zack.

London: Zack, we're in trouble. We need your help.

Zack: Okay, step one, deny everything. Step two, if they don't believe step one, blame your twin.

Woody: No, we need you to tutor us.

Zack: Wow, you guys must be really desperate.

Woody: Not that kind of tutoring. We're both failing gym.

London: You think my shopping spree in Paris would count. I gave my credit card quite the workout.

Woody: And coach told me I don't get credit for crying and rocking back and forth while being pelted with dodgeballs.

London: Apparently we could still pass this if we take some kind of health and fitness test.

Woody: We're only lacking two things. Health...

London: And fitness.

Zack looks at them, confused.

***

Setting: Computer room.

Cody watches Arwin as they fix up the supercomputer system.

Cody: I'm telling you, it's all Bailey's fault. But somehow I'm the jerk for planning the perfect anniversary while she cavorts with some French guy.

Arwin: Oh, women. Too bad they don't come with clear instructions, like these. (rolls out a very long paper)

Cody: What am I gonna do, Arwin? I'll never find another girl who I can relate to on an emotional and intellectual level the way I did with Bailey.

Arwin: Well, time heals all wounds, Cody. As the same thing with your mom. But eventually I saw that there was no hope for us, and I moved on.

Cody: You did?

Arwin: No! I still love your mommy! (sobs)

Cody: Maybe we should just focus on Cal.

Arwin: That's a good idea, yes. 

Cody and Arwin walk up to the computer monitor.

Arwin: Okay, so, this system, controls everything from the engines to the toilet. Oh, by the way, if you have any flushing issues, (walks up to a wall with a toilet knob) just jiggle this knob right here.

Cody: I'll let Woody know. If he ever flushes.

Arwin: Okay. Let me introduce you to... (types on a computer, then sings operatically as the supercomputer powers on) Cal!

Callie: (automated voice) Operating systems are online.

Cody: I think Cal might be a girl.

Arwin: Well, um... (plugs in a red wire and webcam to the computer monitor) a little adjustment here, and, Ca-Callie.

***

Setting: S.S. Tipton, gym.

Zack is getting ready to tutor Woody and London.

Zack: All right, ready to work out?

London: I thought the walk here was the workout.

Zack: If you guys plan on passing PE, you need to do some basic exercise. All right, so let's start with the treadmills.

Zack walks Woody and London to their respective treadmills.

Woody: (moans) This is hard.

Zack: You haven't even turned it on yet.

Woody: I meant standing up.

Zack turns on the treadmill.

Mr. Moseby walks up to Arwin, who is standing by a computer.

Mr. Moseby: Ah, so far I am very impressed with Callie. I mean the engines are running 20% more efficiently, the temperature of the pool changes based on the climate variant, and it says if the toilet knows you're done before you do.

Arwin: I'll tell you what, if you like that, you're gonna love this. (types on keyboard) See, Callie controls every system on this ship, including the gym equipment. Watch this. (clears throat) Callie, speed up treadmill two.

Callie: (automated voice) Speeding up treadmill.

Woody's treadmill speeds up.

Woody: Uh, what's happening?

Woody's treadmill speeds up even faster.

Woody: The floor's moving!

Woody's treadmill speeds up even more faster, before he falls over.

Woody: What was that crunching noise?

Mr. Moseby: My spine!