Shake It Up - Made in Japan Part 1 Transcript

***

Opening Credits

***

Watanabe Global building in Japan. Mr. Watanabe pounds his fist on the table.

Mr. Watanabe: (yells in Japanese) Our competition is beating us in the teen market. We are the only multi-media company in Japan that does not have a dance video game project. I want a great idea or everyone is fired!

The room gets quiet. One of the workers, Keiko Ishizuka wanted to say something.

Keiko: What about "Shake it Up!"?

Mr. Watanabe: What about speaking up? Is there a mouse in here? Who said that?

Keiko: Not me. (She stops writing on her notepad.) Okay, me.

Mr. Watanabe walks up to Keiko, who just took off her glasses while watching something on her tablet. 

Keiko: I've been watching the American dance show, "Shake it Up!". The teen dancers, they will make wonderful avatars. We could have a big competition between all the shows across the U.S. and the winner will be in the game. It will sell big here and America, too. (pauses) I see I've spoken too much. I'll shut up now. (puts her glasses back on) Wait, I'm still talking. Okay, I am done.

Mr. Watanabe: (questioned) "Shake it Up!", eh? Ms. Ishizuka, do you have any children?

Keiko: No.

Mr. Watanabe: Well, you do now, because this is your baby.

***

Three weeks later, in America at the Shake it Up dance battle stage. CeCe and Rocky were walking backstage.

CeCe: Do you hear the crowd?

Rocky: The crowd? I thought it was the sound of my heart clawing its way up my throat.

CeCe: Just concentrate on what it will be like to actually get to go to Japan.

CeCe and Rocky: (squealing excitedly) Japan!

Rocky: We'd see the five-story pagoda, visit the Sensoji Temple, climb Mount Fuji--

CeCe: And be discovered and become pop stars!

Rocky: What Japan are you going to?

CeCe: Rocky, Japan loves American singers. Plus, the road to superstardom is much simpler there. One minute, you're singing on a street corner, the next, you have huge concerts, movies, an anime cartoon, and your own line of... singing toothbrushes!

Rocky: Excuse me, but if I go to Japan, it's gonna be a learning experience.

CeCe: Oh, yeah. For me, too! I'm going to learn to be a pop star-slash-movie star-slash-anime cartoon-slash... singing toothbrush!

Rocky: Do you honestly believe that any of that could actually happen?

CeCe: Well, if it's gonna happen to someone, why can't it be us?

***

Ty and Deuce are sitting in the audience.

Deuce: Man, I can't believe Rocky and CeCe might get to go to Japan. I wanna go!

Ty: Dude, the trip is only for people who work on "Shake it Up, Chicago!" and their brothers who chaperone them! (laughs)

Gary Wilde: Welcome back, America. Only three crews still remain. Will it be, "Shake it Up, Miami!", "Shake it Up, New York!", or "Shake it Up, Chicago!"? Our final epic dance battle starts... now!

The dance battle begins, first came the Miami team, then the New York team, and finally the Chicago team.
End of battle.

Gary Wilde: Here to tell us the name of our winning crew, who will fly to Japan, and star in our first "Shake it Up!" dance video game, representing Watanabe Global, please welcome, Keiko Ishizuka!

Keiko walks to the stage.

Keiko: Hello, America!

Gary Wilde: And the winner of our first "Shake it Up!" dance smackdown is...

Gary opens the envelope and a pause came through the show. Finally, he shows the paper with the winning team.

Gary Wilde: "Shake it Up, Chicago!"!

The show's theme song, "Shake it Up" by Selena Gomez plays. The Chicago team, including Rocky and CeCe cheered, along with the audience. CeCe's mom, Georgia, Deuce, Ty, Flynn, and his friend Henry cheered them on and got up from their seats.

***

Keiko thanks the whole "Shake it Up, Chicago!" team.

Keiko: Congratulations, you dancing machines! Okay, the Watanabe private jet takes off Saturday morning.

Everyone, except for CeCe and Rocky left. CeCe wanted to leave with the others, but Rocky stopped her.

Rocky: A p-p-p-p-p-private jet? You mean we're not traveling on a much safer normal-sized 20% less likely to fall out of the sky commercial airplane?

CeCe: What's wrong? You haven't looked this scared since we watched that "Your Body's About to Change" video in health class.

Rocky: It's nothing, really, it's just a little something I'd like to keep to myself. (chuckles) 
(angrily) I'm definitely afraid of flying.

CeCe: Since when?

Rocky: Since you made me dance on the wing of that airplane.

CeCe: Oh, yeah, I thought we were gonna die up there. (chuckles) Probably not what you needed to hear right now.

***

Psychologist Shelly Goldfeder's office. Shelly walks in.

Shelly: (raspy voice) Hello, I'm Shelly Goldfeder. What are we doing today, insomnia? Work stress? Animal hoarding?

CeCe: Fear of flying.

Shelly: That makes more sense. (laughs)

Rocky: Wait, you're the hypnotist? The one who's supposed to put me in a hypnotic state with your... soothing voice?

Shelly: It's what I do! (laughs)

Shelly sits Rocky down on a chair.

Shelly: Now, let your mind go blank. You're floating. Clouds are drifting.

Rocky laughs.

Rocky: I'm sorry.

Shelly: That's okay. You just relax. You're getting sleepy.

Rocky continues laughing.

Shelly: Sweetie, you're only laughing as a defense mechanism. Because you're afraid to confront your fears.

Rocky: That must be it.

***

Shelly: Have you pictured yourself on the flight now, Rocky?

Rocky: Yes. And the higher the plane goes, the more relaxed I feel.

Shelly: Pack your bags and say sayonara, 'cause she's good to go.

CeCe: Thank you so much. Now I just hope she'll be able to enjoy herself a little.

Shelly: What do you mean?

CeCe: Well, she's my best friend and I love her to death, but, sometimes she has this tendency to be... not so excited about fun things. I don't really know what the technical term for that is.

Shelly: A wet blanket.

CeCe: Oh, right. And, I just want her to drive that blanket off of this trip.

Shelly: (gasps) Hey, I've got an idea, why not? She's still under.

Shelly walks up to Rocky, who's still laying on her chair.

Shelly: Rocky, one more thing, you're gonna have the most fun you've ever had on this trip to Japan. In fact, anytime CeCe strokes your arm and says "Get on board", you'll follow her lead.

CeCe: Wait. I don't know about this.

Shelly: Trust me, it's fine.

CeCe: Well, if it'll help her--

Shelly: Rocky, if I snap my fingers, you'll feel awake, and refreshed, and ready to fly to Japan. (snaps fingers) How do you feel?

Rocky: Awake, and refreshed, and ready to fly to Japan.

CeCe: Yay! First off, the Tokyo shopping scene on the Ginza strip.

Rocky: Oh, my first stop is gonna be the Imperial Palace.

Shelly: (inaudible)

CeCe: Um, get on board, Rocky. (strokes Rocky's arm) Doesn't shopping sound fun?

Rocky: Yeah, but I wanna go to... I wanna go to... I forgot what I was gonna say. 

Shelly: Did it involve shopping?

Rocky: Yeah! On the Ginza strip!

***

On the Watanabe private jet.

Henry: Thanks again for inviting me.

Flynn: Actually, dude, you invited yourself.

Henry: Some antics.

Mr. Itou, the concierge, walks in the aisle.

Mr. Itou: Welcome aboard, everyone. I'm Mr. Itou, from Watanabe Global. I'm your dedicated full-time concierge.

Flynn: What exactly is a dedicated full-time concierge?

Mr. Itou: Basically, I can arrange for anything you need.

Flynn: So, what I'm hearing is you're a butler?

Mr. Itou: No. I'm a dedicated full-time concierge.

Flynn: Cool, but isn't that just a fancy way of saying you're a butler?

Mr. Itou: No, because I'm a dedicated full-time concierge. Now, is there anything I can do for you.

Flynn: Well, you can admit you're a butler.

Mr. Itou: (groans) Fine. I'm a butler.

Mr. Itou leaves the aisle. CeCe puts her hand inside a white paper bag and flaps the bottom up and down as if it were a hand puppet.

CeCe: (high voice) Hello, Rocky. I'm Mr. Barf Bag. Your friend CeCe is worried about you. Are you okay?

Rocky: CeCe, I'm fine. I feel like the higher the plane goes, the more relaxed I feel. I guess the hypnotist really did work. Thanks, CeCe.

CeCe: Hey, what are best friends for?


Ty talks to Deuce on a tablet.

Ty: A week in Japan? That's enough time to meet at least 20 Japanese cuties.

Deuce: (on tablet) So sad. When are you just gonna settle down with one girl already?

Ty: Dude. I'm not you. I don't wanna settle down with one girl.

Flynn: Really? You're already talking to Deuce? (singsong voice) Co-dependent!

Ty: I felt bad that he couldn't come, so I figured, this is the next best thing.

Deuce smiles.

Gunther and Tinka are looking in a magazine.

Tinka: Oh! Gunther, this is so exciting! Japan is the only place that's as fashion-forward as we are.

Gunther: I'm not sure if we packed enough clothes. 

Tinka: We have enough for 6 color-coordinated changes a day.

Gunther: But wait! We're still wearing our "get on the plane" outfits. Shouldn't we be in our "sitting on the plane" outfits?

Tinka: (gasps) Bring my schedule! Go, Gunther, go! 

Gunther and Tinka get up from their seats and run.

CeCe's mom, Georgia, chats with Gary Wilde.

Georgia: Anyway, Michi was my Japanese pen pal in middle school. Mmm, we lost touch, but wouldn't it be amazing if I found him? Things could get romantic?

Gary Wilde puts on noise-cancelling headphones.

Gary Wilde: Sorry. Noise-cancelling headphones.

Georgia: Oh, but they're not on.

Gary Wilde presses a button on the side of his headphones.

Gary Wilde: They are now.

Henry brings out a giant box to show Ty and Flynn.

Henry: Hey, guys. Wait 'til you see what's in my carry-on luggage.

Henry opens the luggage to reveal a life-size android robot.

Flynn: You brought a man doll? Couldn't you just bring a neck pillow like a normal person? 

Henry: He's not a doll, he's an android. His name is Andy, and I've been working on him for the past year.

Flynn: "Andy the Android". I'm guessing most of that year was spent coming up with that snazzy name.

Andy: Sarcasm detected, and appreciated. You were right, Henry. Flynn is a cut-up.

Henry: I want to present him at the Akihabara Android Exposition.

Flynn: So, on your vacation from science,  you're doing science? I should accept you at the Tokyo Nerd Convention.

Andy: Ooh, roast on toast. (laughs) Ha, ha, ha, ha... 

Henry: Andy!

Andy: Suspending laughter mode.

Rocky: Look what I brought for the trip.

Rocky gets a purple journal from her bag and hands it to CeCe.

CeCe: All the pages are blank. This is my kind of book.

Rocky: It is a memory book. I want to fill it with all the mementos and pictures from all the places I go.

CeCe: Oh. Well, hey. Here's something for your book.

CeCe gets a paper from out of her bag.

CeCe: It's the lyrics to our first hit song. (sings) Hmm-hmm-hmm. Made in Japan. Hmm-hmm-hmm. Made in Japan!

CeCe: It's called "Made in Japan". So, what do you think?

Rocky: It sounds like a song you were singing last week at lunch. (sings) "Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm. I like to eat ham".

CeCe: It's a first draft. It needs help.

Rocky: No, CeCe. You need help. All right, we have two days of work, and five days to do whatever we want, and I want to make sure I cram as much Japanese culture into those five days as possible.

Rocky gets an itinerary out of her bag.

Rocky: So, I have a color-coded itinerary. Okay. Here are the points of interest...

CeCe stares off into space.

Shelly: (in CeCe's thoughts) Anytime you stroke Rocky's arm and say "Get on board", she will follow her lead. Trust me, it's fine.

CeCe: No. I don't think it is fine.

Rocky: What's not fine?

CeCe: What? Nothing. (sarcastic laugh) Um, you know what? We'll just work on the song when you're done. For now, I'll just take a nap. Oh, tell me more about your itinerary. That'll help me fall asleep.

CeCe falls asleep on Rocky's shoulder.

***

At the Narita Airport.

Keiko: Welcome to Tokyo!

The gang cheers.

Keiko: Okay, no pressure, but my entire future at Watanabe Global depends on this project, so please don't make me look bad. I can do that on my own. Now, we have a tight schedule, so please get your bags and I will meet you at the limousines.

The gang follows Keiko.

Deuce: Wow, it could be a long drive to the hotel. Is there a bathroom around here?

Ty: You do realize you're not actually here, right?

Deuce: Oh, right.

Ty gets the luggage. Gunther and Tinka run to get theirs, but it's nowhere to be found.

Tinka: Wait, where's our luggage? Gunther! Gunther, where is it?

Gunther: It isn't here? No, no, no, no, no! Please don't tell me this is happening.

Mr. Itou: Many bags look alike. (points to a silver-colored bag) Could this be yours?

Gunther: Our suitcases are silver, covered in sequins, and they glow. We would be able to find them, even in the event of a water landing.

***

At the Tokyo Towers hotel room. The gang arrives.

Mr. Itou: Welcome to the five-bedroom presidential suite. Make yourselves at home.

Georgia: Dibs on the big room!

Georgia takes her suitcase and runs to the room.

Flynn: Dibs on the bathroom!

Flynn runs up to Gunther and Tinka. Rocky and CeCe look out the window.

Rocky: Unbelievable. I mean, you could see the Imperial Palace, the Rainbow Bridge. The Tokyo Tower!

CeCe: And you were afraid you wouldn't be able to see everything. Well, let's unpack.

CeCe and Rocky go to their rooms.

Tinka: Yes, you have clothes!

Gunther: Rub it in our noses, why don't you?

***

Henry and Flynn are in a bathroom.

Flynn: Oh. Hey, Henry. Check it out, this toilet actually talks. (to the toilet) Hello, toilet.

Toilet: (female voice) Hello, young male American guest. Number one...

The toilet opens up, along with the toilet seat. Flynn has a surprised look on his face.

Toilet: Or number two?

The toilet seat goes down. Henry has a surprised look on his face.

Flynn: I think I've died and gone to toilet heaven.

Henry: Fascinating. I'm interested to see how it works.

Flynn: I'm interested to see how it works too, Henry. A little privacy, please.

Flynn pushes Henry.

***

At Tokyo Towers Hotel.

Mr. Itou: My deepest apologies for your lost luggage. Please accept the Watanabe corporate credit card for the purchase of some new clothes.

Mr. Itou hands the credit card to Tinka.

Mr. Itou: No limit.

Tinka: Oh, please. our clothes are like family. If you lost your family, would you want your credit card to buy new ones? (sighs)

Mr. Itou: I wish. Please have a seat.

Gunther and Tinka take their seats. Mr. Itou raises a curtain.

Mr. Itou: And behold! The hottest fashion trends in all of Japan.

The song "Fashion is My Kryptonite" by Bella Thorne and Zendaya plays. A group of fashion models walk down the runway and they start dancing.

When the song ends, the crowd cheers. Mr. Itou walks up to Gunther and Tinka.

Mr. Itou: So, what do you think?

Gunther and Tinka get up from their seats.

Gunther: Do you honestly think that this could possibly make up for the loss of our beloved clothes?

Tinka: Because if you do, you are absolutely right.

***

At a sushi restaurant.

Flynn: This ninja restaurant rules.

Henry: I'm not impressed. The disappearing bridge was done with dry ice and rudimentary mechanical engineering.

Flynn: I'm starting to see why your parents never take you with them on vacation.

Georgia's phone chimes.

Georgia: Ooh. Mr. Itou, our full-time dedicated concierge, just sent me Michi's phone number! I'm gonna text him right now. This is gonna be the biggest surprise ever!

Ninja waiters serve the gang food. They leave super quickly.

CeCe: Excuse me, Mr. Ninja Guy, can I please have a fork?

The ninja waiter bows at her. Another ninja pops out of the ceiling and stabs a fork on the table.

CeCe: Good thing I didn't ask for a knife.

Gunther and Tinka arrive in crazy Japanese-style clothes.

Gunther: Hello, everyone! Sorry we are late.

Tinka: We had trouble figuring out the front of our outfits from the back.

Ty: I'm not convinced you did figure it out. (chuckles)

Keiko: Everyone, I am pleased to announce the arrival of your host for this trip, the benevolent, handsome, Mr. Watanabe!

Mr. Watanabe walks in. The gang claps.

Mr. Watanabe: You want to break it down a few notches, Keiko? No one likes a butt-kisser.

Keiko sits down.

Mr. Watanabe: Welcome everyone, from the "Shake it Up!" dance video game project to Tokyo. Ah, my grandchildren, Hideko and Ichiro.

Two teenagers, a boy and a girl enter.

CeCe: Oh, nice to meet you, Heidi and Itchy.

Ichiro: Actually, it's Ichiro. And my sister's name is Hideko. Hideko means "super nerd" in Japanese. 

Hideko: No. My name means "child of excellence". Ichiro actually does translate to literally, "itchy".

Ichiro: Hey, there's a really cool group doing a show at your hotel tonight. How would y'all like to check it out with us? 

The group agrees.

Rocky: Yeah, that sounds great.

CeCe: Uh, can you give us a sec? Rocky-chan and I need a "momentito". 

Rocky and CeCe get up and they walk out to have a discussion.

Rocky: They seem cool. Don't you want to hang out with them?

CeCe: No. I totes appreesh the 'tunity, but here's the 'ish...

Rocky: Uh, CeCe, you do realize you're not speaking English or Japanese, right. Please use full words.

CeCe: Okay. Seeing a show would be great, but I'm concerned. We've been in Tokyo almost eight hours and still haven't been discovered yet. We need to prioritize. 

Rocky: CeCe, get real. We're not gonna out-of-the-blue meet some music mogul who has the power to magically transform us into international superstars. and just in case I'm not being clear enough, let me just rephrase that, (stern) never going to happen.

CeCe: Are you saying I'm being totes ridic? Well, fine, excuse me for having a dream.

They walk back and sit back down.

Rocky: So, Hideko, it must be pretty cool to have a grandfather that makes video games.

Hideko: Oh, he's not just successful in the game industry. Watanabe Global is a multi-media empire.

Ichiro: What she means is, if G-dad digs you, one minute, you're singing on a street corner. The next, you got concerts, movies, an anime cartoon, and your own line of singing toothbrushes.

CeCe: (dreamlike) Singing toothbrushes...

Rocky: Wow. Suddenly I feel totes ridic.

Rocky and CeCe laugh.


***

Rocky: (voiceover) Next on "Shake it Up: Made in Japan"...

Summary:

***

CeCe: Mr. Watanabe is going to be at the karaoke club tonight. He'll love us, I know it.


Mr. Watanabe: I am very, very impressed with you girls. I would like to work with both of you.


Keiko: Congratulations to the newest members of the Watanabe family.

Rocky: You don't understand. It's not silly.

Mr. Watanabe: Excuse me?

Keiko: Uh-oh.

Mr. Watanabe rips the contract papers in half.

Mr. Watanabe: I will not work with either of you.


Rocky: I've become a supporting character in "The CeCe Show" instead of starring in "The Rocky Show", and I'm done.

Rocky walks out.






Click here to view Part 2
Click here to view Part 3

Shake it Up © to Disney. This blog does not claim ownership of the reproduced transcripts provided on this blog.

School Of Rock - Should I Stay or Should I Go? Transcript

Classroom. Mr. Finn looks out the window on the door.

Tomika: It's been a while since that bell rang. Can we go yet?!

Mr. Finn: (shushing) Not yet. Signing up for Battle of the Bands is huge for us. We have to sneak out so we don't arouse suspicion. I'll go scoot the hall. 

Mr. Finn cartwheels out or the door into the hall. The hall was empty. He cartwheeled back inside the classroom.

Zack: Did you see anyone?

Mr. Finn: I don't know. It all happened so fast. And I was upside down a lot.

Tomika: Wait, this is just to sign up for the audition? Why do we all have to go?


Mr. Finn: Because we're a band. We do things together. Plus, my van breaks down and I need you guys to push. Okay, let's move out. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

Mr. Finn and the students leave the school.

***

Battle of the Bands.

Mr. Finn: Okay, everybody, stay calm. I'm kinda a big deal in the Austin music scene, so don't be surprised if I get mobbed.

Woman: Excuse me, are you Dewey Finn?

Mr. Finn: You know it. See, guys?

Woman: Security!

A security guard tackles Mr. Finn, making him fall on the floor.

***

Opening Credits

***

Battle of the Bands.


Club Worker: Who let this guy in? Dewey Finn is banned from this club.

Mr. Finn: What? Why?

Club Worker: Because last time you played here, you started a burrito riot.

Mr. Finn: Hey, I don't have control over the audience.

Club Worker: You sang a song called "Let's Start a Burrito Riot"!

Zack: I don't know how much competition there would be. These guys all look serious.

Lawrence: Yeah.

A man plays a riff on an electric guitar.

Lawrence: Not bad.

Guitar Player: Not bad? What's a little kid like, you know?

Zack: You're right. Can I borrow that?

Zack borrows the man's electric guitar and plays a riff. The player steals his guitar from Zack.


Lawrence: You destroyed that guy.

Zack: My parents always told me if I plan to do something, I should be the best. I do it if I'm not going to win.

Lawrence: My parents raised me to be happy if I come in third.

A man walks up to Zack.

Justin: Hey, I heard you riffing. I'm Justin from Night Lizard.

Zack: Zack, School of Rock.

Justin: Is that your leader?


Mr. Finn: Please, Vince, please!

Freddy: Sir, if you let him sign up, he'll pay you back for the damage he caused.

Mr. Finn takes out cash from his pocket.


Mr. Finn: Yeah, sure, how much do I owe you?

Vince: $42.000.

Mr. Finn: I don't have that.

Mr. Finn takes out a credit card.

Mr. Finn: But, this card is only two punches away from a free frozen yogurt.


Justin: You wouldn't have those kind of problems if you joined Night Lizard. The reason we've won two Battle of the Bands is because we treat our band like a business. If you don't perform, you're out. That reminds me. 

Justin looks directly at a man playing a guitar.

Justin: (angrily) You're out. 

The man plays an angry riff and leaves.

Justin: You're totally Lizard material, Zack, So, what do you say? You wanna join our band?

Zack: Like I said, I'm in School of Rock. Thanks anyway. 


Mr. Finn: It's...Let's...sit down and talk this out like mature adults.

Mr. Finn sits on a table and the table collapses.

Vince: And now, you owe me for the table!

Summer: Mr. Vince, I understand your frustration with Mr. Finn. He's irresponsible, he's selfish, he rarely showers.

Mr. Finn: Where are you going with this?

Summer: Trust me. But the band isn't just Mr. Finn. It's us kids. Do you want the press out here seeing how rough you treat orphans? 

All but Summer: You're orphans?

Summer: As far as the TV reporters know, (crying along with the rest of the School of Rock members) and when they see us, they'll throw you out of your club, and we'll be crying our eyes out about that mean man. (normal) And you, it might not be good for your business.

Tomika takes out a phone.

Tomika: I have Local News 5 on speed-dial. Oops, it's ringing.

Vince: Okay, you win. I'll let you audition. Just hang up!

Tomika hangs up the phone.

Vince: Man. 12-year-old girls play hardball. 

Tomika walks up close to Vince.

Tomika: You wouldn't last 5 seconds at one of our sleepovers.

***

Classroom.

Mr. Finn: All right, let's do this. One, two, th--

Summer puts tape on the floor..

Summer: I'm calculating the size of the stage at the club for the Battle of the Bands audition.

Freddy: Is that really necessary?.


Summer: No, but our audition song has no tambourine. Unless you want me to play tambourine.

All but Summer: No.



Mr. Finn: Alright, I called this emergency band meeting to figure out how to replace Zack. The answer is two words.

Tomika: Animatronic bear?

Mr. Finn: Yeah, how'd you guess?


Tomika: Because it's over there. And it's freaking me out!

Mr. Finn: I got him from Cheesy Chuck's. His name is "Kodiak Joe".

Kodiak Joe: (singing) Kodiak Joe, Kodiak Joe. Hi-dee ho, I'm Kodiak Joe. (talking) Hi, folks. I'm Kodiak Joe. Welcome to Cheesy Chuck's Pizza Emporium.

Mr. Finn: I almost forgot. His activation word is "Kodiak Joe".


Kodiak Joe: (singing) Kodiak Joe, Kodiak Joe. Hi-dee ho, I'm Kodiak Joe. (talking) Did you know you could get an extra-large for just a dollar more?

Mr. Finn: (inaudible)

Freddy: How'd you get Kodi--


Tomika: No! How'd you get the bear?

Mr. Finn: He was in the dumpster at Cheesy Chuck's.

Descendants Wicked World - "All Hail the New Q.N.L.B." Transcript

***

Opening Credits

***

In Mal and Evie's dorm room. Audrey is sitting on the bed brushing 100-ft blonde hair. Evie comes into the room with a makeup case.

Evie: Who's ready for party makeovers?!

Mal: I guess I am. (chuckles)

Audrey: Sure...

Freddie: I don't think I--

Evie: That's the attitude! I've concocted an amazing beauty mineral base. Who wants a "bacial"?

Mal and Audrey look at each other, unimpressed.

Evie: P.S., I made that up.

Mal: Whoa, never would've guessed that.

Audrey: Doesn't matter. I wasn't even chosen as a QNLB.

Mal: Is that a good thing? Cause, that acronym just doesn't sound good.

Audrey: It's "Queen of the Neon Lights Ball". Duhsies. (furiously) And I...did not...win! Ughh!

Evie: Uh, Freddie, did you just ask who did win?

Freddie: Uh, no.

Evie: It was me! I won! I'm the QNLB! Uh, Mal, did you just where I'm going to put the crown?

Mal: (scoffs)

Evie: I don't know where! I'm running out of room for all my crowns.

Audrey: (brushing the hair) Ugh!!! Ughhh!!!

Mal: Is that Ruby's hair? 

Audrey: No! It's the other girl with the 100-foot ponytail. It's stress-brushing. Stress-brushing helps me deal with losing.

Evie: Well, you better keep brushing cause I am on fire! (rapping) Carbon dioxide, water vapor, oxygen and nitrogen ignited up in here!

Audrey: Ughh!!

Evie: Okay, Freddie, for your makeover, I'm thinking a little less voodoo and a little more new-do.

Freddie: That's funny, cause for my makeover, I'm thinking a little-- (angrily) leave me exactly the way I am.

Evie: No probs. Audrey, for your makeover, I'm thinking about some apple red lipstick and some wicked Cheshire Cat eyes.

Audrey: The only makeover I'm interested in is the one where I made over from being the one who lost the crown to the one who won.

Evie: Oh, I forgot to bring that one. Sorry. Mal, for your makeover, I wanna see what you look like in purple.

Mal: Uh, I think we know the answer to that.

Evie: Oh, that's not purple, that's aubergine. 

Freddie: You know, I always thought of it as more of an eggplant.

Mal: Uh, what's happening here?

Audrey: I know, right? It's clearly more of an amethyst.

Jane barges into the room.


Jane: (distressed) Guys, my mascot uniform is gone!

Sonny with a Chance - Battle of the Networks' Stars Transcript

Gassie sketch.

Announcer: (singing) Some dogs beg, some dogs bark. This one saves the day... with farts!
(speaking) It's time for another adventure of Gassie The Toot'n Pooch.


Farmhouse. The farmer was calling somebody on his cellphone.

Farmer (Grady): Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay, sir. Bye now. (hangs up) (disappointed) Oh, no.

Gassie farts.

Farmer (Grady): Whoa, the mayor. He's coming over for dinner and he wants to eat beef stroganoff. I don't know how to make beef stroganoff!

Granny (Tawni): Well, don't look at me! I can't even pronounce "brif stroganoff".

Farmer (Grady): Well, what am I gonna do?

Gassie farts.

Farmer (Grady): Get one pound of top sirloin...

Gassie farts.

Farmer (Grady): Six tablespoons of butter.

Gassie farts.

Farmer (Grady): One-third cup of chopped scallions?

Gassie farts.

Farmer (Grady): But I can substitute onions.

Gassie farts.

Farmer (Grady): One-half pound of cremini mushrooms, salt and pepper to taste.

Gassie farts.

Farmer (Grady): Noodles? Well, what kind, Gassie?

Gassie farts.

Farmer (Grady): How wide is extra-wide, Gassie? Come on, hurry up, the mayor! He's on his way!

***

The mayor eats the beef stroganoff and passes it to Granny.

Mayor (Nico): Arlo, as mayor, I hereby declare this to be the best beef stroganoff this side of the town I'm the mayor of.

Granny (Tawni): Ohh!

Farmer (Grady): Thanks, Gassie. I couldn't have done it without ya.

Gassie farts.

Farmer (Grady): What's that Gassie? I don't understand.

Gassie farts.

Farmer (Grady): Well if it wasn't you then who wa-- (to Granny) Granny!

Granny (Tawni): Not me!

Mayor (Nico): No, that was me. Beef stroganoff makes me gassy.

Farmer and Granny (Grady and Tawni): (to Mayor) Mayor!

Announcer: This has been another adventure of Gassie the Wonder Dog.

***

Opening Credits

***

Condor Studio Cafe.

Sonny: Guys, I have a confession to make. I asked for a water cup and I filled it up with soda.

Sonny sits at a table with three people that look like Nico, Grady, and Tawni.

Sonny: And, you're not Nico, Grady, or Tawni. (laughs) I was kidding about the soda.

Sonny sits at another table with three other Nico, Grady, and Tawni look-alikes.

Sonny: Something's happening to me, and it's happening again. Oh, no! It's that dream where I end up on TV wearing nothing but a hat.

Nico and Grady walk into the cafe. Grady shakes hands with another Nico look-alike.

Grady: Hey, what is up, Nico, my man! My man! You were great in that Gassie sketch. Just funny!

Nico: I'm standing right next to you.

Grady: No, you're right over there sitting next to me! And there, and the... (gasps) (to Nico) Dude, this means our time machine has worked!

Nico: That wasn't a time machine, it was a clock! And you...

Grady: No!

Nico: And that's not me!

Grady: No!

Nico: And those aren't Sonny! And those aren't...

Tawni gasps, slaps a Grady look-alike's hand.

Tawni: Then who the heck are you?!

Nico: Now that's definitely Tawni.

Tawni runs up to Nico and Grady and they run up to Sonny.

Nico: What is going on in here?! Sonny, are we in your stupid hat dream?

Sonny: I have no idea what's going on.

Chad talks through a bullhorn.

Chad: Okay, first up will be Group 1, "So Random!"

Sonny: Chad, what is all this? I should've known you were behind it. Why are you dressed like a paperboy?

Chad: I'm casting a TV movie about my life, "Chad Dylan Cooper: The Chad Dylan Cooper Story", a Chad Dylan Cooper Production. I need lookalikes to play the losers from "So Random!" No offense. (through the bullhorn) Well-gone loser, you're up next.

Sonny: Wait, you're auditioning people to play us?

Nico: We got the actual losers right here!

Sonny: Hey, we're not losers.

Grady snatches the bullhorn from Chad and blows breath through it.

Grady: (imitating Darth Vader) I am your father.