Silverado West Middle School, hallway.
Bella, Sophie, and Pepper are standing in front of Bella's locker. A picture of Hunter Hayes can be seen along with a calendar reading "Days to Hayes". Bella rips off the 3 from the calendar to reveal a 2.
Pepper: I can't believe it's only two days left until the Hunter Hayes concert!
Bella: We bought these tickets a year ago. Remember how much babysitting we had to do to pay for them?
Pepper: I don't. I'm spoiled and my parents give me whatever I want.
Bella and Sophie look at her with confusion.
Pepper: Sorry. Inside thought.
Sophie: If Hunter sings "21", I am going to die! But if he plays "I Want Crazy", I'm gonna come back from the dead just so I can die all over again.
Bella and Sophie squeal. Pepper walks off holding her phone.
Bella: Pepper, what are you doing on your phone?
Pepper: I'm trying to find a way to meet Hunter Hayes after the concert. Ace is finally putting my interview show on the air, but I don't have any big-name guests.
Sophie: I'm sure Hunter Hayes is a good guy, but he's a superstar. I don't think he's gonna have time for a middle-school TV show.
Pepper: (gasps) What if you're right? (ranting) Then my show won't get enough views and then Ace will cancel it, and I'll never be the next Oprah or Ellen, or any other single-name female powerhouse! The only way I'll get on a talk show is by being that lady who brings all the exotic animals and then--
Bella: Pepper, breathe! Actually, don't. We're seeing Hunter Hayes this Sunday!
The girls all high-five each other.
***
Locker room.
Coach Russell: We're cleaning the field this Sunday!
Bella: What?
Sawyer: Wait, this Sunday? Don't you think you should give us some notice?
Coach Russell: I did. (takes a paper from out of the door) Don't you all read the team newsletter?
Newt: We have a team newsletter?
Coach Russell: Well, that explains why no one showed up to help me move my waterbed.
Troy: Ha. Yeah. that's why no one showed up.
Coach Russell: This is a mandatory team activity. I expect to see you all here at 3 o'clock.
Bella: But, Coach--
Coach Russell: Ah, ah, ah, ah! I don't want to hear it. That waterbed burst in the stairwell. It deserved better.
Bella shrugs.
***
Opening Credits
***
Silverado West Middle School, football field.
Bella is talking to Sophie and Pepper.
Bella: I can't believe I have to miss the Hunter Hayes concert. This is the worst thing ever.
Pepper: Can't you skip the clean-up? You already practice five days a week-- plus games on Saturday.
Bella: So does everyone else.
Pepper: And who stays up all night before games to memorize her motivational speeches?
Bella: I can't just go in cold.
Sophie: And who wore a jockstrap just to show the guys she was one of them?
Bella: That was above and beyond-- and totally uncomfortable! You know what? You're right. I give my heart and soul in this team and never ask for anything, until now.
Bella walks up to Coach Russell.
Sophie: Go get 'em, mama.
Bella: Coach, I can't make it on Sunday.
Coach Russell: Yeah, hold on. (turns away) The Hunter Hayes concert is no excuse to miss a team clean-up. (turns to Bella) Okay, now what is your excuse?
Bella: Well, it's definitely not Hunter Hayes. It's... my nana's 60th birthday party?
Coach Russell: I find that hard to believe.
Bella: Oh, but--
Coach Russell: Your nana is turning 60? She looks great for her age. Really great! Ha!
Bella: Ew.
Coach Russell: Well, you enjoy that party. Uh, by the way, is your nana still seeing that guy?
Bella: You mean Grandpa? They've been married for 37 years.
Coach Russell: Cool. Good to know.
Coach Russell walks away. Bella walks away, embarrassed.
***
Silverado West Middle School, football field.
The field is messy, covered in balloons and trash.
Coach Russell walks to the field, pushing a janitor's cart.
Coach Russell: Hey, guys. Thanks for showing up.
Troy: Did we have a choice?
Coach Russell: Nope. And thanks for recognizing that. (hands trash bags to three boys) You three, go pick up the trash on the field. (hands a trash bag to Troy) Troy, you got the bleachers. And don't forget that pile of whatever-it-is underneath them.
Troy: Wait, the hairy mystery mass? Nah-ah. No way. That thing growled at me once, man.
Coach Russell: Good. So you're familiar with it. (pats Troy on the back) (hands Sawyer a scraper) Sawyer, you're gonna be scraping the pigeon poop off the roof of the snack shack.
Sawyer: Poop? Aw, poop!
Coach Russell: And, Newt...
Newt: Please don't be gross, please don't be gross, please don't be gross...
Coach Russell: (hands Newt a toilet scrubber) Since Bella won't be here, why don't you take over her task of cleaning the porta potties?
Newt: No! Not the doo-doo sheds!
Sawyer: Wait, where's Bella?
Coach Russell: Ah, she's at her nana's 60th birthday party. Have you seen her grandma? (chuckles) She looks great for her age. I mean really great.
Coach Russell walks away.
Troy, Sawyer, Newt: Ew!
Troy: You know, I don't remember Bella saying anything about her nana's birthday party.
Sawyer: She probably just wants to get out of cleaning.
Newt: Guys, Bella's the most dedicated player on this team. She wouldn't leave us without a legitimate excuse.
Troy: Oh, so you're fine with going in that porta potty?
Newt: (feared) You mean I have to clean the inside, too? (walks to the porta potties) At least you guys will help, right? I'm thinking if we split it up and take turns, we can--
Newt notices that everyone has left, leaving him alone in the empty, messy field.
Newt: Guys? Oh, boy.
Newt walks in the porta potty. He leaves in fear shortly after.
Newt: Ah! It's worse than I thought!
***
Silverado Majestic Theater concert venue.
Bella, Sophie, and Pepper hurriedly rush through the crowd so they can get close to the stage.
Sophie: Excuse me. Sorry. 'Scuse me. Move aside, please!
The girls finally arrive close to the stage.
Sophie: Can you believe how close we are?
Pepper: Yes. you elbowed 50 people to get all the way up here.
Sophie: I don't feel bad. I wanted it more.
Pepper: Bella, you made the right decision ditching the team for this.
Bella: Yeah. Did I? I'm starting to feel a little guilty about lying to Coach and leaving the boys to clean up the field.
Sophie: Bella, you rocked a jockstrap for this. Now relax and enjoy it.
Bella: Okay, I'll try.
Pepper: Hey, help me go over my interview questions. I stayed up all night thinking these up. Here's my first one. "Hunter, your fans are desperate to know, do you like nachos?"
Sophie: Uh...
Bella: Really? That's your first question?
Pepper: Yeah. That's my interview style. I toss him a softball then I go in for the kill.
Sophie: Ooh, what's your kill question?
Pepper: "Hunter, you just gone through a very public breakup. How do you keep a smile on your face when the cold fingers of despair clutch in at your heart?"
Bella and Sophie look scared.
Pepper: Too much?
Sophie: Pepper, I know he's a rock star, but just talk to him like he's a normal person. Play it cool.
Hunter Hayes walks on stage, holding a guitar. The crowd cheers.
Sophie: I love you, I love you, I love you! (squeals)
Hunter: What's up, Silverado?!
Performance.
Hunter performs on the stage, singing the song "21".
Cut to Silverado West Middle School, football field.
Troy is peeking out of a wall behind the bleachers. He takes out a hairy blob filled with junk stuck on, then screams in horror. He throws it out, then hides back.
Cut to Hunter performing.
He points to Bella. She shrieks with excitement as Hunter invites her on stage to dance along.
Cut to Silverado West Middle School, football field.
Sawyer is standing on a ladder, scraping off the pigeon poop from the wall of the snack shack. Suddenly, leftover pigeon poop starts to drip from off the roof and land on his head.
Cut to Hunter performing.
He and Bella dance along.
Cut to Silverado West Middle School, football field.
Newt runs out of the porta potty in fear. He gags and runs back in.
Cut to Hunter performing.
Performance ends.
Bella gives Hunter a hug as the crowd cheers. She walks off the stage to talk to her friends. The girls shriek with excitement.
Pepper: You still feeling guilty?
Bella: Not at all!
***
Silverado Majestic Theater, backstage.
Bella, Sophie, and Pepper are getting ready to meet Hunter backstage.
Pepper is holding three VIP passes.
Pepper: Okay, I have to get that interview. Here's the plan. We'll show these VIP passes, and boom. We're backstage.
Bella: Whoa! Where did you get these?
Pepper: I made them. I copied them from a picture online. I matched the font, color, and size exactly. These puppies could get us into the White House. Follow my lead and act like you belong.
Pepper shows the VIP pass to the security guard.
Pepper: Here you go. White House.
The security guard tries to scan the VIP pass, but the scanner didn't beep.
Security guard: Huh. That's weird.
Pepper: What's wrong? It's flawless.
Security guard: Your badge isn't scanning. It's supposed to have a microchip in it that makes the scanner beep.
Bella: Yeah, that happened before here. Try mine.
Bella shows her VIP pass to the security guard. Hers didn't beep, either.
Bella: Beep!
Then Pepper shows her VIP pass to the security guard. Hers didn't beep, either.
Pepper: Beep.
And Sophie shows her VIP pass to the security guard. Hers didn't beep, either.
Sophie: Beep?
Security guard: Sorry, girls. You're not getting backstage. Good work on these, though. You're a real artist.
Pepper: Thank you.
Security guard: You're welcome. Leave!
Bella, Sophie, Pepper: Aw!
The girls leave.
Bella: Pepper, don't worry. He wasn't back there, anyway.
Pepper: How do you know?
Bella: Because he's right there!
Bella turns Pepper to the front. Suddenly she sees Hunter walking to his dressing room, massaging his gums in pain. She gasps and walks up to him.
Pepper: Hey, Hunter. Can I have a quick word with you?
Hunter: (in pain) I-I'm so sorry. I can't even talk. I think I cracked my tooth.
Hunter quickly walks into his dressing room.
Pepper: But I just have a few--
Security guard: (pushes Pepper away) You heard the man. Now move along. Counterfeiter.
Pepper gives the security guard a displeased look, then walks away.
Bella: Pepper, what about your dad?
Pepper: Who would want to interview my dad? He's not a rock star, he's a den-- (surprised) My dad's a dentist!
Pepper takes out a business card from her purse. She shows it to the security guard.
Pepper: This is my dad's card. He's a really good dentist. Please give it to Hunter.
Security guard: Yeah. I'll get right on it.
Sophie excitedly runs to the security guard.
Sophie: Tell him I love him! (pulls security guard towards her) I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him...
Bella gets Sophie to let go of the security guard, then carries her out as she continues to repeat "I love him".
***
Silverado West Middle School, hallway.
Bella looks at the picture of Hunter Hayes that is taped on her locker door. She draws a heart on the picture as she sings "21".
Bella: (sings a line from "21") 'Cause that's the way that we're doing it, doing it! We go big or we go back--
Bella slams the locker door closed as she notices Troy, Sawyer, and Newt standing in front of her.
Bella: Hey, guys.
Sawyer: Huh. How's your nana's birthday party?
Bella: Oh, um.... yeah, it was great. Great time.
Troy: Oh. Sounds fun.
Bella: Yep. Just a normal party.
Newt: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Was it anything like, uh... this?! (shows Bella his phone, which had a picture of her dancing with Hunter on stage) Boom! Just blew you up.
***
Silverado West Middle School, hallway.
The boys look at Bella in shock.
Troy: You ditched the team to go to a concert?
Bella: How did you get this?
Newt: Yesterday when I was cleaning the stench of porta potty off of my soul. My stepmom Brenda texted me from the concert. She was there, too. Of course.
Bella: Whoa, guys. I can explain.
Sawyer: Say it, Bella. You lied to us.
Troy: Yeah. And we're telling Coach. Let's go.
The boys try to walk away, but Bella stops them.
Bella: What? Okay, please! You can't.
Sawyer: And if you think Coach'll be mad, wait until Nana hears you skipped her birthday party!
Troy: Sawyer, just, no.
Newt: He spent seven hours in the hot sun cleaning bird poop while you were on stage shaking your rump to the funk!
Bella: Come on, guys! You don't understand. It was Hunter Hayes!
Troy: Oh! Hunter Hayes! It was Hunter Hayes!
The boys react in a sarcastic manner.
Troy: Yeah! That changes (angrily) nothing.
Sawyer: Do you know what Coach is gonna do when he finds out you lied to him? He's gonna bench you.
Bella: Come on, guys. All I did was miss one silly clean-up.
Troy: You should have been there, Bella. It was a team event.
Newt: A filthy, vile team event, which I will be discussing with my therapist well into my 40s.
Sawyer: Have fun on the bench.
Bella: Guys! I am so sorry I missed the clean-up. But please, don't tell Coach. I'll do anything.
Sawyer: Ah. How about you do my biology homework for me.
Bella: Done.
Troy: And clean out my ferret's cage?
Bella: On it.
Newt: And I need three dozen cupcakes by tomorrow. Make sure they're gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free, and also rich, creamy, and totally delicious.
Bella: I'm not sure if that's even possible, but don't worry. I'm going to totally make it up to you.
Troy: Ah-ah-ah. Not so fast. We are just getting started.
Newt: You're gonna wanna write these down. Grab a pen, rump-shaker.
They walk away.
***
Silverado West Middle School, hallway.
Sophie and Pepper sit on the seats. Ace McFumbles walks down the stairs.
Ace: Hey, Silverstein. How's that interview coming? Remember, you promised me a big name.
Pepper: Don't worry, Ace. I'm on it.
Ace: Good. I'd hate to have to cancel you after one episode. But I will.
Ace walks away.
Sophie: Pepper, it's time to face the facts. You're not going to get Hunter Hayes.
Pepper: I know. But where am I going to find a cool musician at this point?
Sophie: Oh, here.
Sophie brings out a boy holding an oboe.
Kenny: Hey, girls.
Sophie: What? At least he's a musician.
Pepper: Hey, Kenny, can I interview you for Bulldog Network?
Kenny: Okay.
Pepper: Roll camera.
Sophie films the two as they get ready to do the interview.
Pepper: We're here with Kenny Ping, musician and first chair oboe. Kenny, do you like nachos?
Kenny: Well, my mom doesn't let me eat cheese because it enflames my embouchure.
Sophie gives them a disgusted look.
Pepper: Cut! Thanks, Kenny.
Kenny leaves. Sophie stops filming.
Pepper: That was a disaster. Ace is going to cancel me before I even air.
Sophie: Wait! Look at this!
Sophie shows Pepper a picture on her phone. The picture shows a selfie of Hunter smiling while standing next to a poster with a cartoon tooth reading "Nothing But the Tooth".
Sophie: Hunter just posted a ClickPic of the poster from your dad's dental office!
Pepper: He must've seen the business card! If we leave now, I can still get that interview!
The girls exclaim excitedly and leave.
***
Silverado West Middle School, locker room.
Bella walks in holding a few things.
Bella: Hey, guys. Sawyer, here's your homework. (hands a biology textbook to Sawyer) I even did the extra credit.
Sawyer: Thanks a lot. (angrily) Now they'll know I didn't do it.
Sawyer walks away.
Bella: Troy, the cage is clean. I wish you had told me your ferret had a taste for human flesh. (shows Troy her other arm, which had several bandages on)
Troy: You actually did that? Girl, that ferret crazy.
Troy walks away.
Bella: And here, Newt. I baked your cupcakes. (hands a box of cupcakes to Newt) It was hard without the dairy. And the gluten. And the sugar. And it took me three tries, but I finally did it.
Newt take a cupcake from the box and licks it.
Newt: (disgusted) Ugh. Not quite there yet.
Newt walks away.
Troy: You know, Bella? You look tired. Why don't you sit down?
Bella: (sits on the bench) Thank you.
Troy: And clean the mud out of my cleats. (slams his muddy cleats on the bench)
Sawyer: Ooh. Good idea! Mine, too. (slams his muddy cleats on the bench next to Troy's)
Bella: But I already did everything on your list. So shouldn't that make us even for me skipping the clean-up?
Troy and Sawyer stroke their chins.
Troy: Hmm.
Sawyer: Oh.
Troy: That's a good question. I don't know. Let's ask Coach. See what he thinks. Oh, Coach!
Bella: Fine! I'll clean your stupid cleats.
Newt walks in with even dirtier cleats and hands them to Bella.
Newt: Ooh. Mine, too.
Bella: Uh, no offense, Newt. But how does your cleats get muddy from sitting on the bench?
Newt: That's not mud. I just stomped all over those lousy cupcakes you made.
Newt strokes Sawyer's arm. Bella gives him a dirty look.
Newt: Sorry. Power's not a good color on me.
***
Silverstein Dentistry.
In Hunter's POV, we see Dr. Silverstein in the process of sedating him with laughing gas.
Dr. Silverstein: Okay. That laughing gas should have you nice and relaxed. Lemme just test it out.
Hunter: All right.
Dr. Silverstein: Knock-knock.
Hunter: Who's there?
Dr. Silverstein: Interrupting dentist.
Hunter: Interrupting dentist--
Dr. Silverstein turns on the drill and puts it in front of Hunter's face. He laughs while Hunter just ignores the joke and sits there and sighs.
Dr. Silverstein: Looks like the laughing gas is not working. Let's just give it a little more time to set in.
Dr. Silverstein walks out of the room.
Cut to the waiting room.
Dr. Silverstein passes by Sophie and Pepper, who are seen wearing dentist coats and reading newspapers in a way that the papers obscure their faces.
Sophie and Pepper take the newspapers out of their faces and they get up from the chairs.
Pepper: Okay. All we have to do is interview him without him knowing he's being interviewed, so, keep it together this time.
Sophie: Don't worry. It's all outta my system.
Sophie and Pepper put their masks up.
Cut to the dentist room.
Sophie and Pepper walk in.
Pepper: Hi, I'm your dental hygienist. My name is Coco and she is--
Sophie: (sheepishly) Hiiiii.
Pepper: Heidi.
Sophie chuckles.
Hunter: Aren't you a little young to be a dental hygienist?
Pepper: (chuckles) Oh, you. I get that a lot. (puts on glasses) I'm 31.
Hunter: Okay.
Pepper: Well, I guess we should start off by flossing you.
Sophie: I'll do it.
Sophie takes out a piece of floss.
Sophie: All right. Here it comes. Open wide!
Sophie gets ready to floss Hunter's teeth.
Sophie: OMG!
Hunter: (turns his head away) I'm so sorry, what are you doing?
Pepper: Perhaps you'd better skip the floss and get right into the questions.
Hunter: Questions?
Pepper: Yes, my associate will be recording your answers to ensure quality service. Totally normal procedure.
Sophie starts recording.
Pepper: How many times a day do you brush?
Hunter: Twice.
Pepper: Mm-hmm. Okay, okay. Great. After your breakup, how did you keep a smile on your face when the cold fingers of despair clutch in at your heart?
Hunter: What's going on here? Y-You're not really a dental hygienist, are you?
Sophie stops recording, then puts her phone in her pocket.
Pepper: No. I'm not. Neither is she.
Sophie: (takes off her mask) I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love--
Pepper squirts water in Sophie's face with the water flosser.
Pepper: Heidi!
Sophie shrugs.
Hunter: Can I get the dentist back in here?
Pepper: Wait! Full disclosure. My name is Pepper and I'm your biggest fan. I really need to interview you or I'll lose my show on the school TV station.
Hunter: I'm happy to help. Let's just get the tooth thing fixed first.
Pepper: You'll do the interview?
Hunter: Yeah.
Pepper: I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you--
Sophie squirts water in Pepper's face with the water flosser.
Sophie: Fangirls, am I right?
***
Silverado West Middle School, locker room.
Bella cleans a muddy pair of cleats until Troy, Sawyer, and Newt walk in.
Bella: That's it. I have finally finished.
Troy: Ah-ah-ah. I can't see my reflection.
Bella: Look. I know it was wrong of me to go to the concert. But at this point, you're just taking advantage of me.
Newt: Uh, yeah. That's the whole point of this.
Sawyer: And we are just getting started.
Bella: That's it! I'm telling Coach the truth about why I missed the clean-up. I don't care if I get benched. It's better than being your slave.
Bella walks away.
Troy: Don't worry. She's bluffing.
Sawyer: But, dude. If she tells Coach what we've been doing, we could be in more trouble than her. Come on.
Troy, Sawyer, and Newt hurriedly run to Coach Russell's office.
Cut to Coach Russell's office.
Troy: Bella, don't bother Coach with that thing. He's a busy man.
Coach Russell: Quiet, guys. Bella?
Bella: Coach, I lied to you about my nana's 60th birthday party.
Coach Russell: I knew she looked too good to be 60. (chuckle)
Bella: No. I mean, it wasn't her birthday. I went to the Hunter Hayes concert instead. I'm so sorry. I should have never put myself in front of the team. I promise it'll never happen again.
Coach Russell gets up from his chair.
Coach Russell: I am very disappointed in you, Dawson. And I'm glad you came clean, even though it took you a while.
Troy: Well, glad that's all wrapped up. See you at practice, huh?
The boys were getting ready to leave, but Coach Russell stops them.
Coach Russell: Hold it! Hold it. (chuckles) Do you guys have anything you want to tell me?
Troy, Sawyer, Newt: No, no. Not at all. No.
Coach Russell: Newt.
Coach Russell pulls Newt off to the side to talk to him.
Coach Russell: If you tell me the truth, I'll go easy on you.
Newt: (scoffs) Please, what's the worst you could do? Bench me?
Newt, Troy, and Sawyer laugh.
Coach Russell: I'll send you back to the doo-doo sheds.
Newt: We found out Bella lied about the concert and we threatened to tell you unless she did what we asked, so she did Sawyer's homework, got bit by Troy's ferret, and made me perfectly good cupcakes which I stomped on because I was crazed with power.
Coach Russell stares at Newt, while crossing his arms.
Newt: Who said that?
Coach Russell: Wow. Bella lied to me, and you guys used it against her? This is shameful. I should bench all of you.
Troy: Coach, please don't bench us, okay. We'll do anything.
Coach Russell: Anything?
***
Coach Russell's office.
Troy, Sawyer, and Newt are cleaning out the office.
Newt takes out a chicken wing from Coach Russell's desk.
Newt: Gross. A hairy chicken wing.
Sawyer: I recognize that from the tornado.
Sawyer takes the chicken wing from Newt.
Sawyer: In a weird way, it reminds me of Pepper.
Sawyer puts the chicken wing in his jacket pocket.
Sawyer: Thanks. (pats pocket)
Troy: (holds trophy) Coach, this isn't a football trophy. What's this for?
Coach Russell: The Argentine tango.
Newt: You dance?
Coach Russell: I've been known to.
Coach Russell does a tango move.
Troy: Oh.
Coach Russell continues tango dancing. Bella, having enough of Coach Russell's dancing, gets up from her chair.
Bella: Coach! Haven't we been punished enough?
***
Bulldog Report program.
Ace is seen wearing a fake mustache.
Ace: Ace McFumbles here with the world premiere of our new segment, "Silverado Scoop". Pepper Silverstein, take it away.
Cut to Silverstein Dentistry.
Pepper is getting ready to interview Hunter.
Pepper: Hello, Bulldogs. I'm here with country superstar Hunter Hayes. Tell me, Hunter, do you like nachos?
Hunter: (mouth full of cotton) I don't really eat nachos.
Pepper: Interesting. And what was your inspiration for "Young and in Love"?
Hunter: Well, it's about how when you fall in love with somebody, and you're, you know, and you have these life experiences, and it's just about (indistinct)...
Pepper and Hunter turn to the camera. Hunter shrugs and does an embarrassed smile.
Silverado West Middle School, hallway.
Sophie and Pepper are watching the interview on the TV screen.
Pepper: So, what do you think?
Sophie: I think your dad used too much novocaine. He's totally numb.
Pepper: Still, no one else has this interview. Ooh, this is my favorite part!
Sophie and Pepper turn back to the TV screen.
Cut to Silverstein Dentistry.
Hunter is singing "21" while he has a mouth full of cotton.
Cut to Silverado West Middle School, hallway.
Sophie and Pepper are dancing along.
Cut to Silverstein Dentistry.
Hunter continues to sing, while Pepper excitedly dances along.
Bella and the Bulldogs © to Jonathan Butler, Gabriel Garza, Nickelodeon. This blog does not claim ownership of the reproduced transcripts provided on this blog.
