Disney's The Replacements - Tasumi Unmasked Transcript

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Opening Credits

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Title Card: "Tasumi Unmasked"

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Setting: Daring house. Zoom out to the video game "One-Man-Band Hero".
Video Game Animation: A Riley Daring avatar plays with two polar bear characters dancing along with the music. As the music distorts and the meter on the bottom of the screen goes down, the polar bears cover their ears.


Todd: (offscreen) Do a crash-cymbal-bass drum combo for triple points!

Riley: (offscreen) How do I do a crash-cymbal-bass drum combo?

Todd: A-B-Right-Trigger-Step-White Button-Select-Up-Right-Trigger, duh!

Riley: A, B... B... Hit-right thingy, step.... (groans)

Video Game Animation: As the meter went into the red zone, the bears still cover their ears and a bunch of music notes fall on top of the Riley avatar. The words "Game Over" appear on the screen.

SFX: crowd booing.

Zoom back out to the Daring living room.

Todd: Hand it over, Riley. "One-Man-Band Hero" is the greatest video game, and you, sadly, are disgracing this fine institution.

Todd snatches the harmonica, then the guitar, and the knee pads from Riley.

Riley: Fine! I'm gonna go play my fiddle. So give me a call when you you can play an instrument, (yells) IN THE REAL WORLD!

Todd: What's more real than virtual?

Riley: (turns her head to the TV) Whoa, look!

TV reads "Choose New Level". On the top row of the level selection, we see the two polar bears and a pirate. The bottom row has Grammazoar, a monster lizard dressed as an old lady, a character with the same armor as Riley's friend Tasumi, and a hippopotamus.

Zoom out to the Daring living room.

Riley: (pointing) That's Tasumi!

Todd: No, it's not! It's just one of the anime dancers on Level 26, "Tokyo Techno Showdown". Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna crack Level 37, and get my first fan club.

TV switches to the main game, where we see a Todd avatar.

Fade to George Stapler Middle School.

Abbey: And I said, if you can't tell the difference between a clove hitch and a rolling hitch knot, maybe I'll find myself a new boat buddy.

Tasumi closes her locker as Riley walks in.

Tasumi: What's wrong, Riley?

Riley: I'm sore from playing that stupid One-Man-Band Hero yesterday. Tasumi, it was so weird. There was this character on there that looked just like you! I tried to show Todd...

Tasumi: You're wrong! Or lying? Or both?

Riley: What? I just said I saw something strange on the video game.

Tasumi: That's it, Riley! (pulls up a scroll with a list of names) You're back on my list, just above Gamazoar, and just below, Grammazoar!

Riley: (puts the "list" down) But it did look just like you! I mean, the helmet, the armor! Come on, I can show you. (takes off Tasumi's glove)

Tasumi: Hey! (snatches the glove from Riley)

Abby gasps, then Riley does the same thing. Tasumi puts the glove back on. (SFX: squeaking.)

Tasumi: (to Riley) I mean, hey. Why don't we finish this conversation at Sam Sugar's Sugar-Torium? You know, we could just back and talk, just me and you. (she and Riley walk out.)

Abbey: Uh, hello!

Riley: Tasumi, you know candy and I don't have the best history.


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Flashback. 

A police officer is yelling at Riley on a bullhorn.

Officer: Just put down the Jelly Drops and the Choco Tarts, and we can all go home!

Riley is on top of a building holding two lollipops.

Riley: NEVER!!! (licks one of the lollipops, and then both lollipops start swirling) Top of the world, ma! TOP OF THE WORLD!!!!

Flashback ends. 

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Riley's eyes start swirling. Tasumi walks up to her.

Tasumi: Oh, Riley, relax. You act like I'm preying on your weakness for candy to distract you. (stares at Riley) Did I mention they're having a sale on Choco Tarts?

Riley: (giggles) I should be able to handle it.


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Scene is in black. Riley moans offscreen. The black scene is revealed to be Riley's eye, as it starts opening.

Riley: What happened? 

Dick Daring: I found you lying on the front steps muttering about being the general of the Gumdrop Army.

Riley: Gotta remember. Jelly before hard candy, everything's dandy. Hard candy before jelly, ruins the belly. 

Riley's stomach gurgles.

Riley: Wait. Tasumi. I was talking to Tasumi. And-- Was Tasumi trying to give me the slip? What's she trying to pull?

Dick Daring: (gasps) I don't know!

Riley: Is Tasumi hiding something from me? And why? I thought we were friends.

Dick Daring: So did I! (runs away, sobbing)

Riley puts on a press hat.

Riley: I'm gonna need this. Cause it's time for Riley to do some investigating! And I know just where to start! (stomach gurgles) The bathroom. (runs away)

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Riley is in front of a Japanese-style building.

Riley: Ah. Little Osaka-town.

Scene zooms out to reveal a small section of Japanese-style buildings in a modern city.

Riley: Emphasis on "little".

Riley walks into a store called "Hooray for Anime". She walks up to the clerk and shows him a photo of her and Tasumi.

Riley: Hi. Do you know anything about--

The clerk snatches the photo and gets excited.

Clerk: Oh, hey! (says title in Japanese)! Cool!

Riley: Who-nerd-says-what-now?

Clerk: It means "Strange Metal Girl". She was a huge anime character back in the 1990s! Where did your friend get this old school costume? I want it!

Riley gives the clerk a weird look.

Clerk: For my... niece. You know. (chuckles and hands the photo back to Riley)

Riley: Costume? This isn't a costume.

Clerk: Uh, yeah, it is. Check it out!

The clerk shows Riley a Japanese catalog with pictures of costumes that look similar to Tasumi's.

Clerk: I think we have some Strange Metal Girl stuff. Hang on!

Riley: A costume? What is going on? And what is she hiding from me?

The clerk comes back holding a DVD cover with Gamazoar destroying buildings and a list in the background.

Clerk: Oh, hey, look what I found. Very rare, Episode #37, "Gamazoar and the List of Doom"! "You've made my list, Gamazoar!"

Riley: Gamazoar! The list!

Clerk: Oh, check it out! 

The clerk brings out a TV set.

Clerk: Gamazoar fights... Grammazoar?

The TV powers on and shows a scene where Gamazoar fights Grammazoar. Grammazoar points her walker at Gamazoar and roars at him. Her roaring is subtitled as "You never call!" Grammazoar blasts her walker at Gamazoar.

The clerk laughs and snickers.

Riley: I have to have these.

Riley puts money on the counter and takes the two DVDs.

Fade to the Daring house living room.

Todd is playing a game of One-Man-Band Hero against his friend Jacobo.

Todd: Come on, Jacobo! Give me a challenge!

Jacobo: (through game) I'm trying, Todd!

Todd: Peace out, morning ago. 

Todd plays progressively faster.

Video Game Animation: The Todd avatar continues to play, while a bunch of music notes fall on top of the Jacobo avatar as his meter hits the red zone. The words "Game Over" appear on the screen.

Jacobo: Ay! (complains in Spanish)

Todd: (yawns) This is too easy. (takes off his earpiece) Maybe I'll go to the arcade and help with those Dance-Dance losers.

Fade to the street.

Todd walks and stops to look at a man performing a one-man-band show.

Todd: Aw, how quaint.

A man who is watching the show, throws change into the performer's hat.

Todd: How profitable. I need a piece of this action.

Fade to the exterior of a store called "House of Cords".

An extension cord stretched from the outside of the store to across the street, where Todd is hooking up his GameCone console and a TV.

Todd: Thank you, House of Cords.

Todd plugs in his console and starts playing.

As the one-man-band performer is getting ready to perform a show, he overhears Todd playing his game and notices that a couple who was going to see him perform get mesmerized by Todd's performance and try to see him perform.

Man: That music.

Woman: Mesmerizing.

As Todd finishes his performance, the couple throws some change into his hat. They walk away, only for the one-man-band to walk up to Todd.

One-Man-Band: What do you think you're doing?

Todd: I'm making money.

One-Man-Band: Yeah, by playing some stupid game! Where's the talent in that?

Todd: Find another shoulder to cry on, Grandpa. This is the future.

One-Man-Band: You think you're some kind of a one-man-band hero, huh? How about a challenge?

Todd: Bring it on!

One-Man-Band: And we'll be using Doyle's International Pro-Am One-Man-Band Rules, of course!

Todd: What the-- Whatever! I already said "bring it on".

One-Man-Band: Then it IS on, Don.

The one-man-band starts performing and a large crowd comes to watch him and cheers.

One-Man-Band: Your try, small fry!

Todd starts playing as a small crowd comes to watch him, only for his game to power down. The crowd boos.

Todd: Hey!

The one-man-band hangs the plug by his foot as he unplugs Todd's game.

One-Man-Band: Oh, lose your juice, Bruce. Well, under Doyle's International Pro-Am One-Man-Band Rules, winner takes all!

The one-man-band snatches Todd's guitar.

Todd: You can't do that!

One-Man-Band: You agreed to the rules, Jules!

Todd: I did not!

One-Man-Band: Too bad, Chad!

The one-man-band snatches the rest of Todd's One-Man-Band Hero equipment and rides away with it in his wheelbarrow.

Todd grumbles.

Todd: Vengeance will be mine! No one humiliates Todd Daring!

Buzz, the school bully, flips Todd's shirt inside out to the point where his shirt covers his eyes, and draws a face on his stomach. He walks away, whistling.

Todd: Okay, very few people humiliate Todd Daring.

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George Stapler Middle School, classroom.

Abbey: It's a butler that lives on your boat! Don't you have one?

Riley pops out.

Riley: Fancy bumping into you guys! 

Abbey: It's English class. We have it together every day.

Riley: That is so interesting.